Pappy Macguires First Super Incredible Blog of Unspeakable Horrors!

Pappy has a new blog! Hooray! Before Al Gore invented the internet, Pappy had to sit on one of his family member's rotting corpse and carve his blogs into their bodies with a rusty spork! But now, pappy has a computer that he found in the garbage that he normally gets his food from! It's ever so fast, it has a 2k modem even! That's barely even seven hours before a page loads! Golly, this blogging sure is fun! Certainly more fun than being in the danger society! They grabbed orphans off the street, and shot them out of cannons at the enemy! Most exploded on impact, but I was lucky! Only my legs were forced through a fine steel mesh! The enemy cut off what remained of Pappy's legs, and castrated him! He was quite lucky there! Oh dear, it seems that the police from the orphanage I escaped from have come here! Oh! Ha ha! They're playfully beating me about my head with large sticks! Tee-hee! I'll post later, when I'm not hemmoraging from holes in my head from large sticks penetrating my skull! Cheerio!